Waiting

Christmas is the season of anticipation, whatever your persuasion. You could be cranky, like Garrison Keillor, railing against Unitarians and Jews as killers of Christmas, but still looking forward to singing the old carols. You could be beside yourself with anticipation, like a six year old who still clings to Santa Claus as the bringer of all good things. You could be old and disinclined to celebrate, but awaiting a visit from your son and his wonderful wife on Christmas Day. You could be a secular Jew who looks forward to the eggnog and fireplace and celebratory atmosphere. You could be a homeless person who hopes to find a good meal for a change at the Union Gospel Mission.

Or you could be me, waiting for Joe College to return safely from India so that we can all decorate the tree, fight about the distribution of the ornaments, and fulfill the old family tradition of going to the movies on Christmas day. Can't wait.

Garrison kicks butt

You go, Garrison. Today in your weekly newspaper column, The Old Scout , you refer to the Current Occupant and his gang as merging "blithering corruption with murderous incompetence." I couldn't have said it better myself. Garrison's words were part of a persuasive essay on the joys of retirement, especially as they apply to Bush, Rove, and Cheney.

My papa, who is old and frail, is still very much aware what has happened to the country he served in WWII. His goal in his own retirement was to live long enough to see the Red Sox win the World Series. That has happened. So now he's on a roll: his plan is to live long enough to see the Bushies go back to the place from whence they came. If Bush took Garrison's advice and retired, my father could set himself yet another task--to see the Red Sox win twice in his lifetime. I'm not betting on either Bush or the Red Sox to do the right thing, but I am betting on my father and his cohort to do all they can to throw the bums out on Tuesday.

Bully Pulpit

Garrison, I take it all back. You can make all the jokes you want about Unitarians. Your weekly column in the Star Tribune, The Old Scout, suggested that the Current Occupant of the White House is a shallow jingoistic fool with a small rigid agenda and little knowledge of the world. People must say things like this, and say them loudly. You have a large fan base across the nation, people view you with (sometimes misplaced) nostalgia, and you have lots of print and broadcast vehicles. Use them to effect change. Use them to tell the truth about the boy from Texas. People listen, and you have nothing to loose.

And, being made fun of is probably not the end of the world. Tell those Unitarian jokes. Some of them are pretty funny.

Prairie Home Companion

Despite my earlier posts criticizing GK for his anti-Unitarian jokes, I have to give the guy his due. First, he had Molly Ivins, one of my great heroes, on PHC last night. And she was funny, quick, and dead-on when talking about the prime leader GWB and the rest of his strange tree. As she (or someone equally smart) fantasized recently, you have to think that George H.W. and Babs are sitting around the pool, drinking whiskey sours, and wondering whether they should have used the smart one instead.

And then this afternoon we went to see the Prairie Home Companion movie--most enjoyable. Meryl Streep sings very nicely, and Woody Harrelson and John C. Riley were terrific as Dusty and Lefty. And, thankfully, director Robert Altman took out the bits from PHC that don't work so well, such as the ketchup song and English major jokes. It was nice to see all the radio business again, even though it wasn't live.

So, I have to say it, GK (with help from Robert Altman) has probably made being a midwesterner acceptable to those on the coasts. But, we don't want to be too acceptable--then we won't be midwesterners.

Memo to Garrison re Unitarians

Hey GK,

What's with the constant Unitarian-bashing? You did it again last night, making fun of those who talk about the "journey". Frankly, I'd rather be in in the company of those who are unafraid to admit they don't have all the answers, and are not required to believe six impossible things before breakfast (sorry, Lewis). But, I, and my Unitarian co-religionists, don't bray about our distaste for your type of certainty on national radio. We don't make fun of those who recite the Nicene Creed every Sunday.

A little factoid for you. Did you know that in the 19th century, US Episcopalians and Unitarians were joined at the hip, fighting the good fight against sabbatarianism, prohibitionism, evangelicalism, and the other movements that, then and now, threaten the fabric of our republic? Perhaps if we spent our energies doing that now, together, rather than making fun of each other on the national airwaves, there might be a little traction in the struggle against those whose stated desire is to turn us into a theocracy. A theocracy would not be good for you. It would not be good for those who think they want it.

So, next time you have a cute little joke about a Unitarian walking into a bar, try to resist. So-called liberal Christians are even more endangered than Unitarians, though they don't yet know it. They might be the target of a new generation of radio show gurus. Think about it.