You can't get there from Here

Every state in New England, at least northern New England, claims to be the grandpapa of this saying. A flatlander visiting Vermont, or Maine, or Massachusetts, or New Hampshire, so the story goes, asked a native how to get to the next town. The response, "You can't get there from here," delivered with the flat vowels and unpronounced r's of New England, has become legendary. Part of the reason it's legendary is because it's actually true, at least in spirt.

But the native had it all wrong. It's not, "You can't get there from here." Rather, the phrase should be, "If you don't know how to get there, you don't belong there." Exhibit A: if you are driving along a major city street, say in a large city (for New England) like Worcester, you will not be able to identify the street on which you are driving. You will see the names of all the cross streets, but the name of the street you're currently on will remain unattainable to you. You might luck out and see it on a diner sign, or a pizza parlor, or a grinder shop. But the city fathers in Worcester have decided that if you don't know where you are, you don't deserve to find out. And in this they are right in step with the rest of northern New England. No wonder the place has flat population numbers. People get lost, give up, and leave.

And have we talked about those things the English call roundabouts? Next time.