Minneapolis Swimming-True Team Sectionals

I just can't write about the Current Occupant and his gang any more. In fact, their present approach is so depressing I haven't written anything for two weeks. Why convene the Iraq Study Group if you're going to resolutely ignore every single recommendation it makes? Pretty remarkable.

So, let's talk about high school swimming instead. Specifically, let's talk about the True Team Boys Sectionals, held today at Minneapolis's Southwest High School, the only high school pool in the city. Joe High School did very well. He's chipping time off his 500 freestyle, getting within spitting distance of being a state qualifier. His backstroke is respectable. And the coach had him swim the fly in one relay. South High would have done much better overall if they had had a diver--this is, after all, High School Swimming and Diving. But they don't.

Parents at swim meets are usually OK, if a little intense. I've been going to swim meets for so long that I'm in the intense category. But I do not time the splits--I let OLGS do that. He was the announcer for the meet, so he had a ringside seat. And Joe High School got three medals for his efforts. All in all a good day.

Happy New Year

2007 begins with a grim contrast. On the one hand, there is significant and genuine appreciation for Gerald Ford's nice-guy demeanor. He appears to have been godly, upright, and more or less sober. He is applauded for being "normal". I was around during the Ford era. I remember him as boring, the 1974 incarnation of Babbitt. But that was then... Now Babbitt looks great.


And on the other hand, there is Current Occupant. Even though no one says it, he is infinitely smaller by comparison with former President Ford. He is definitely not upright, his godliness is circumscribed, and even though he no longer drinks, he is far from sober. The concept of "normal" does not arise when describing the CO. The sight of him delivering a tribute to his predecessor is almost too much to bear.

Fish and Visitors

I had a headmaster back in the Jurassic period who used to send the girls off on holiday breaks with the admonition that "fish and visitors smell after three days." I later learned that this was one of Ben Franklin's aphorisms, but at the time, it seemed pretty original to my 16 year old mind. And it's probably telling that I remember very little else about the headmaster--I'm sure he offered other lessons besides that one, but they didn't stick.

Our house is full of young men. They come and go, leaving in their wake a drift of debris--books, socks, empty soda cans. Apart from that exasperating trait, it's wonderful to have them. And in a few days, our lives will be quiet and dull once more. And while they have been here for more than three days, they don't smell yet. They may be slobs, but they take showers.

Christmas letter

I enjoy getting Christmas letters from friends and family. It's fun to hear from people you don't see very frequently, and be reminded about why you like them. However, many of the letters I receive are filled with lengthy descriptions about children's sporting, academic, and artistic accomplishments. All interesting, but maybe too much information for my already overwhelmed little brain.

The gold standard in Christmas letters was established by my dad's stepfather, Ray W. Tobey. A schoolmaster from darkest Maine, Ray was a curmudgeonly Yankee who somehow got himself appointed to teach the offspring of the famous and monied in Connecticut. His Christmas letters were models of economy, elegance, and, if you had a really strong microscope, humor. Usually no more than one or two short paragraphs, the letters mentioned in passing his limited travels, visits from his wife's children and granchildren, and the natural world around his 19th century farmhouse. The letters were printed, without typos, on glossy paper from a local job printer, and always included a small black and white photo of the farm, the huge pine tree, or some other local landmark. That was it.

Ray is long gone, as is the pine tree. But I unconsciously compare every Christmas letter I receive to those he sent. And is that a bad legacy? As we say in Minnesota, it could be worse...

Snow!

Luis is in hog heaven. It snowed about an inch this afternoon, and he had his first snowball fight in the parking lot at a shopping mall. He thinks it is beautiful, and so it is.

Braces, just in time for the holiday season

Poor Joe High School. Today he got braces on his teeth for the second time. They are blue metal, and really hurt. The first effort was when he was much younger, the idea being that if you did it early you could avoid the full metal jacket later on. It was not to be. Poor Joe has a cross bite, ihnerited from yours truly.

Back in the day, something like a cross bite was not usually corrected unless it looked terrible. So my teeth are as nature made them.

And, there's been a cultural shift. Nowadays, nice middle class families don't just strive to give the kids a good education and some foundational backbone with which to face life. A well equipped child not only needs a college degree, but straight teeth, clear skin, waxed eyebrows, and a manicure. I suspect that the orthodontists' lobby spends hours or days at its annual conference figuring out which guilt buttons it can press.

And it works. At the ortho's office, children of immigrants whose mothers are dressed in the hijab are waiting to have their jaws expanded. Talk about acculturation....

Holiday prep, or how to avoid reality

It's discouraging. There is no snow, Joe College Grad won't be home until December 24 ("those tickets are so expensive, Mom"), and the Current Occupant seems to have no idea of the hole he has dug for us and for the world.

The CO even had a way out--the Iraq Study Group--but chose to dismiss their recommendations out of hand. I feel as if we are in an episode of the Twilight Zone or a Greek tragedy. I'm waiting for the big recognition scene, when Hamlet or Lear or George realizes what he's done and throws himself to the wolves waiting in the snow outside the White House.

But I forgot. There is no snow because of global warming. And that is just one more thing that GWB chooses to ignore. When the curtain finally comes down on this amazing period of history, the Current Occupant will still have no idea how he has disappointed his audience. He had the biggest stage in the world, and he used it to show cartoons.

Snow Expectations

There is no snow in Minnesota. And that's not because it's too cold to snow. It's because of global warming. Every winter has started later, been warmer, and ended sooner than the last. The years of -30 -degrees and three feet of snow until May have vanished. Instead of the average 7 inches of snow in November, we had none. Zilch. Nada.

Our Mexican student, Luis, is very disappointed. He has been waiting for it to snow since the beginning of November. I keep telling him, "Any day now." And the days roll by, with no snow, and 45 -degree temps. Even that is cold for Luis. But, it would be nice if he had some snow to compensate for the temperature.

No-show senators, Sumner, Kennedy, and Johnson

Appparently nine senators have been no-shows at the Capitol since the 1940's because of ill-health or discouragement. I would love to be in the Senate historian David Ritchie's office right now, digging up the dirt on those nine guys who didn't show up to work in the period since WWII.

The first thing the researchers had to do, of course, is determine how far back to go. They clearly didn't go back as far as 1856, when Senator Charles Sumner of Massachusetts (yes, folks, of Sumner Tunnel fame) was beaten to unconsciousness by a member of the House from South Carolina who sought revenge for Sumner's allegedly insulting remarks about his uncle (or cousin in some accounts) Senator Andrew Butler. Sumner did not return to the Senate until 1859, when he again took the abolitionist cause. Some years later, another Massachusetts senator, John F. Kennedy, took a lengthy leave of absence from the Senate to recuperate from his ongoing back problems.

So, Senator Johnson is in good company. I don't think the Senate Republicans should revisit those Committee assignments any time soon.

Minneapolis Public Library leadership problems

There is a lot of breast-beating going on about the financial straits of the Minneapolis Public Library. The library has been playing chicken with the citizens of Minneapolis, planning to close three marginal branches in order to keep the rest of the system functioning. This strategy has worked pretty well; the library now has the attention of the community, the mayor, and of city hall. There will be a bail-out vote on Monday.

The blame for the financial situation that caused this sorry state of affairs has been assigned to the city council, the Republican governor and his cuts in local government aid, and the mayor, who believes, without much basis, that Minneapolis has too many libraries. There are some who blame the Library Board for being ineffective. There is plenty of blame to go around, and there is justification for all the assignments.

However, no one has talked about the responsibility of the library staff over the years for the current problems of the library. Before I say more, here's a bit of truth in advertising: I used to be one of those staff members before being "laid off" in January of 2005. And when I say staff, I am talking about the leadership of the library. The rank and file staff are, by and large, devoted to the library and hard working.

The selection of administrators and directors for the library has been characterized by mishandled searches, unclear goals, and hidden agendas among library Board members that obscure the need for strong leadership. As a result, there has been no director in many years who has been a strong advocate for public libraries. Recent directors, including the current one, have been bureaucrats, exemplars of the Peter Principle, and ambitious folks who used MPL as a stepping stone for bigger, better, things. None of them has been able to articulate effectively why we need public libraries and why we as a community should support them. Instead, the library has relied for support on lots of heart-warming stories that are doubtless true, but are really only anecdotal, rather than systemic, descriptions of the role libraries should play in a civil society.

Without leadership that is able to get the message out in a compelling way, any effort put into keeping Southeast, Roosevelt, and Webber Park branches open is only a stop gap measure. Such efforts do not address the leadership problem at the Minneapolis Public Library. This problem is one of the root causes of its financial difficulties. But it's also the elephant in the living room.

Flyover land

When I use the term "flyover land" it carries with it primarily geographic connotations. Flyover land is the Midwest, however you care to define it. Flyover land has red states and blue states, more or less equally. It is also associated in the popular mind (read the coastal mind) with many things that are not true, such as excessive religiosity, conservative politics, devotion to the military, etc., etc. You do find these things in flyover land, as in anywhere else. But they are here because of small towns and rural settings, not because they are in the midwest. All of these characteristics are more pronounced the further south you go, because the further south you go there are fewer big cities. Big cities are the antidote to conservative politics and the baggage carried by those who are its blind adherents.

Other people apparently use the term to denigrate the residents of the small-town and rural Midwest and Mountain west. I use it to describe the vast open spaces where the NWA planes don't land. Some people use it to refer to the place in the US where people use cream of mushroom soup as a binder for everything (that may be correct). Flyover land people may be conservative, and they may like cream of mushroom soup, but recent elections show us that this part of the country, however defined, is not homogenous. And that's a good thing.

South High Boys Swimming

It's starting again. The Minnesota high school boys swimming season is upon us. Joe High School, king of the 500 free, has turned into a monster, and goes to every practice. He is energized by the appearance of new swimmers, some of whom are quite good.

Keith Ellison and his consitutional oath

Keith Ellison, newly elected congessional representative from the MN 5th district, and the first Muslim to serve in Congress, plans to take his oath of office on the Qur'an. This has sparked outrage from the folks who haven't figured out that there is more than one way to be American. These people fear that the republic will crumble should Keith exercise his right. As Keith observed, atheists and agnostics are protected. Why not Muslims?

If people are really exercised about this, why not offer everyone an opportunity to swear on the Cosntitution? That's what it's all about, isn't it? But the flaming radical talking heads seem to have forgotten that, as they and their pals in the current administration seem to have forgotten many things about who we are and what used to make us great. For them, there is only one way to be an American, and that is their way. Amazingly, one commentator blogged that allowing Keith to exercise his right would do more damage to the United States than 911. Wow!

Even with all the warts of our system, the fact that someone like Keith can get elected, even from a never-vote-republican district like this one, speaks well for our future and badly for those who would like to turn us into a norte americana banana republic.

James A. Baker: not just for Florida anymore

I do find it interesting that people seem to be giving the Current Occupant a free ride on the James Baker appearance. This is probably because JB is more or less smart and politically aware, having served a number of Republican pols over the years. This seems, to us in the hinterlands, as a major improvement. You can hear the folks in flyover land whispering, "Well, at least there's someone in DC who knows the score." We feel this way because it's so apparent that the Current Occupant doesn't know the score, or even that there is a score. As Garrison said in today's column, the CO has the attention span of a 12-year old. Frankly, even 12-year olds with ADD have a better attention span.

Anyway, here we are, giving the Current Occupant a free ride because James A. Baker has flown to the rescue at the behest of Poppy. Have we forgotten already that it was JB who engineered the "election" in 2000 in Florida? Not so fast, folks. Let's keep on paying attention. We're not out of the woods just becuse the Dems won Congress.

Pie for breakfast

In Vermont, a Yankee is someone who eats pie for breakfast--EB White

Thanksgiving is a great holiday. There are no presents to buy, no decorations to dig out of the attic, and no need to answer the December-long question from well-meaning folks, "Are you ready yet?" While there can be great production values in a Thanksgiving operation, you can also lie around all day in your PJs or go out to dinner (if you can find an open restaurant) without it seeming to be a major federal crime. Of course, having lots of food, especially pie, makes it seem more festive.

But the really festive part of Thanksgiving is the aftermath. And I'm not talking about the shopping spree that retailers want you to undertake. I'm talking about leftovers. They start with pie on Friday morning. I make Thanksgiving pies with Friday morning in mind. The best pies for Friday morning breakfast are fruit pies, although anything will do in a pinch. As a pie-crust challenged cook (I don't use Crisco, so I'm doomed to failure), I focus on the fillings and take perverse pride in the very "home-made" look of the crusts. Today I had apple pie. The crust had kind of fallen apart, making the concoction into a kind of apple crumble. It was very good, going well with the French Roast coffee OLGS had made. If there's any left tomorrow, which I doubt, I'll have the blueberry.

And I've already blown my goal of gaining no weight during the holidays--I was going to just drink coffee all day today, with maybe a little side order of carrot sticks.