March snow

Well, technically not March. But almost, and this amount of snow is more typical of March. There are two feet on the ground in Minneapolis. Lots of stuff closed--schools, corporations, libraries, churches. But it was a one day wonder. The plows came out, the salt trucks contributed to the degradation of the environment, and people put on their boots and shoveled out. "This", they said to themselves, "is what makes us different and (dare we say) better."

Michele does it again--gotta love democracy

Illustration by Robin Eley for City Pages

Where do we get these guys? The home of Paul Wellstone and Walter Mondale is also the place that elected Michele Bachmann, dubbed "Our nation’s loopiest congresslady" by the blog Wonkette. And is she ever. In addition to her other weird behavior, Michele is the "author" of a plan to use Personal Rapid Transit, a genuine dog of an idea, to solve the nation's transit problems. Of course, if you are paying attention, you'll have noted the word "personal" in the title of the scheme, which should tell you everything you need to know. The idea is that you can support "rapid" transit while still being a total loner, far from the madding crowd, serene in your individuality, and never rubbing shoulders (or in Michele's case, lips), with anyone else.
Just when you thought that Minnesota was too cold, too dry, too Norwegian, and too boring to be livable or interesting, along comes Michele to offer a bit of comic relief. And if we go to war in Iran because of Michele, we are dumber than we look.

And did you know that Michele was once a Jimmy Carter Democrat?

The end of the high school swimming season....sigh

Joe High School acquitted himself amazingly well at the sectional swim meet for the Twin Cities. He took four seconds off his 500 yard frestyle, coming in 5th for the region. While not enough to get him to the state tournament, he's determined to get there next year. College scouts, take note!

Teenagers in the house

Actually, two out of three are no longer teenagers. But even Joe College Grad appears to be in that limbo between student behavior and adulthood that apparently plagues Italian male children until about age 40. Example: the lad has a voucher for up to $500 for a Continental/Northwest ticket. He wanted to use it to come home for his winter break. He couldn't figure out how to get it to work. Between his girlfriend and me, we got it done. And he was a Phi Beta Kappa....

Joe College refuses to take money in the form of an established allowance for his living expenses, i.e., rent, food, etc. He prefers to ask as the need arises. When I point out that if he were living in a dormitory, I would be paying this and more, he rolls his eyes. But when he shows up for dinner, I know that there will be an indirect request for a check before leaving. My goal is to get him to take a pre-determined amount of money and either save it or spend it. If it's gone before the end of the month, so be it. My recollection is that OLGS was very similar with his dad. I, on the other hand, have little problem taking money...

Joe High School is in some ways the most grown up. Is there an inverse relationship between age and behavior in teenage boys? As a 10th greader, he is getting recruiting letters from various colleges and universities as the result of a test he took. He was very dismissive until he got letters from the University of Chicago, Duke, and Washington University in St. Louis. It was nice to see him figure out that there was a relationship between his performance on the test and the receipt of the letters. Input equals output...

Irangate. part deux

One question: Why in hell should we believe anything this man tells us?

In addition to demonstrating his reading skills with My Pet Goat, this guy could be the star of a morality tale in which a boy who lied was ultimately not believed when he told the truth. Sound familiar?

Reuters photo

Only in Minnesota

You have to love it. Our media types are now gushing about the "warming trend". The high temp today was above 0 degrees. There's some excitement about making it into double digits tomorrow. Living in such conditions apparently justifies our existence. That may be so, but I'm still glad it's a short distance from the parking lot to my little desk in cube land.

Deep Freeze

It's cold. The high temp today will be -5, with a wind chill not to be mentioned. Our ability to tolerate conditions like today's is what distinguishes us from other blue/purple states. We are the coldest large US city. We glory in it. But, it hasn't been this cold for three years. Global warming, anyone?

I have speculated before that Minnesota's cold climate is the cause of our odd political arrangements. We elect weirdos. Some of them are amazing, like the late Paul Wellstone. Some provide needed comic relief and a subject of conversation when meeting strangers at conferences, like Jesse Ventura or Michele Bachmann. Some become pretty good statemen, like Walter Mondale. And some are brought down by their strange accents and squeaky voices, like Hubert Humphrey.

This disparate group shares an ability to shrug off temps that max out at -5 degrees. This should make them pretty effective in DC. But we have a mixed track record. Maybe it's the natural contrariness that arises when you open the door and your eyelashes freeze. And contrary doesn't always play well among the smooth and powdered types who usually dominate the national political process.

Farewell to Molly Ivins

She was one of my heroes. She wrote so well. And surprisingly for a Smithy, she was so unpretentious. And she loved Texas. It went with the rest of her--it was all part of the package.

The one thing I don't get was her kindness to Current Occupant. She was an example to us all--remaining eternally optimistic, understanding why he was the way he is, and not despairing. Her last column, however, was a call to action. Read it and mourn her passing.

Dumpster diving senator

It just keeps getting better here in fly-over land. First we have Michele, the MN 6th district Congresswomen who can't keep her hands, or mouth, off Current Occupant. Now we have Senator Flexible, aka Norm Coleman, who showed up at the SOTU address on Tuesday with a big gash in his forehead. Turns out a redecorating effort had resulted in a treasured antique lamp being thrown in the dumpster. Stormin' Norm was dispatched by wife Laurie to retrieve it. The dumpster and the senator met, and the senator came out the worse for wear. Fortunately, the lamp was OK.

You just can't make this stuff up.

The girl in the white slinky dress, or Michele gets her man

What an embarassment. Michele Bachmann, the recently elected congresswoman from the MN 6th district, made a specatcle of herself on Tuesday night. Pawing the President, whom she admits is a hunk, Michele gave him a big kiss on the lips as he passed by her carefully selected aisle seat. She then kept her hand on his back as he pulled away from her. Luis, watching the State of the Union as part of his effort to understand Norteamericano politics, was shocked.

And Luis and I were not the only ones who noticed her surprising behavior. Even the New York Times mentioned it. And Michele is counting her lip-to-lip encounters with Current Occupant. "He kissed me in Minnesota, too", explained Michele. And I though Jesse Ventura was bad for the reputation of the North Star State....

Toys for Boys

XM Radio. This is our newest toy. OLGS got it so he could listen during his long commute to the 25 or so sports radio stations that broadcast via satellite. Covering golf, the World Cup (and when is the next one? 2008?) and, of course, Major League Baseball (MLB), XM Radio has something for everyone. And it is pretty cool.

But so totally old fashioned. It operates via a clunky antenna, which you can run through your car tape player, making an annoying hiss. Or you can attach it to your car radio antenna, requiring massive amounts of wire to be draped throughout the car. Either way, it seems like a primitive technology. It is also available online, but with 85 stations rather than the 200+ available via satellite. And their web site is quite basic, i.e., doesn't work.

We are radio and movie junkies. We do not watch TV. The first and last time I've watched TV in recent months was Tuesday night, when Current Occupant mounted the podium and tried to read the teleprompter. And look where that got us. I'll stick to radio.

Swimming upstream

What a choice. I can talk about Current Occupant and his deer-in-the-headlights look last night as he tried to look presidential. Or I can tell you that Joe High School broke the pool record at a swim meet at the Buffalo Middle School, population 15,000. He was 10 seconds off his usual time, due to a nasty cold. But they probably don't get too many 500 freestyle swimmers at the Buffalo Middle School. Joe's name will be listed on the side of the pool until another record-breaker comes along.

And speaking of record breaking, Current Occupant only came alive during the tugging-at-the-heartstrings portion of his State of the Union speech. Otherwise he was completely wooden and totally inarticulate--for example, his explanation of the tax savings that his health insurance scheme would provide was incomprehensible. He must have skipped a sentence on the teleprompter. You almost feel sorry for the guy. And that's what's record-breaking. But remember, I did say almost....

Dirty Weekend

Trust the Brits to take romance and turn it into something sordid-sounding. The term once referred to an illicit weekend trip to Brighton, Blackpool, or some other down-market resort.

Anyway, OLGS and I had our own, non-British version at the Hotel Sofitel in Minneapolis to celebrate our anniversary. Maybe it seemed OK because the Sofitel is a French chain. The French, in contrast to our friends across the pond, don't seem to get their knickers in a twist over such matters. OLGS and I were upgraded to the executive class room, which features a large bathroom with cool shower and a flat screen TV. We drank martinis, watched the flat screen TV, and fell asleep before we had a chance to drink the champagne. The next morning we had a lovely breakfast with really good coffee, croissants, and fresh squeezed OJ. Then we went off to the swim meet. No rest for the wicked....

Minneapolis Swimming-True Team Sectionals

I just can't write about the Current Occupant and his gang any more. In fact, their present approach is so depressing I haven't written anything for two weeks. Why convene the Iraq Study Group if you're going to resolutely ignore every single recommendation it makes? Pretty remarkable.

So, let's talk about high school swimming instead. Specifically, let's talk about the True Team Boys Sectionals, held today at Minneapolis's Southwest High School, the only high school pool in the city. Joe High School did very well. He's chipping time off his 500 freestyle, getting within spitting distance of being a state qualifier. His backstroke is respectable. And the coach had him swim the fly in one relay. South High would have done much better overall if they had had a diver--this is, after all, High School Swimming and Diving. But they don't.

Parents at swim meets are usually OK, if a little intense. I've been going to swim meets for so long that I'm in the intense category. But I do not time the splits--I let OLGS do that. He was the announcer for the meet, so he had a ringside seat. And Joe High School got three medals for his efforts. All in all a good day.

Happy New Year

2007 begins with a grim contrast. On the one hand, there is significant and genuine appreciation for Gerald Ford's nice-guy demeanor. He appears to have been godly, upright, and more or less sober. He is applauded for being "normal". I was around during the Ford era. I remember him as boring, the 1974 incarnation of Babbitt. But that was then... Now Babbitt looks great.


And on the other hand, there is Current Occupant. Even though no one says it, he is infinitely smaller by comparison with former President Ford. He is definitely not upright, his godliness is circumscribed, and even though he no longer drinks, he is far from sober. The concept of "normal" does not arise when describing the CO. The sight of him delivering a tribute to his predecessor is almost too much to bear.